Godclads

Chapter 33-3 Lost Gun Days (I)

The possibility of an easy peace does not exist without the dread of violence. Those who wish to adhere to a pacifist utopia must understand that the conditions of this better world are predicated on the conditions of you being massively superior to your adversary.

Not slightly superior, but vastly. Drastically. And the most important aspect of this understanding is often missed: You must make your counterpart feel the superiority, the dread, the fear. Feel. Because if there is a mistake that has slain many a sage, it is the assumption that the other will make the “reasonable” or “intelligent” choice.

No. Humans are thinking animals, but for many, the emphasis is on the latter. Animal. Instinct and general feeling first, thoughts generated to justify behavior after.

To this end, I would not have been half the diplomat I was without my bondsmate. As the saying became with the Ori, “We choose to sully ourselves under the Kosgan, for the alternative is to be defiled by the blade of the Kinslayer.”

Forcing another to make a choice you prefer is simply the narrowing of their options, and the coloring of them as well—one negative and painful, the other better and hopeful.

But always, always remember to press the cold of the stick against their skin so they know that business is conducted on the grounds of mercy. And reapply this lesson routinely. Humans forget. Humans delude themselves. And sometimes, the more animalistic of our kin serve better as diplomatic lubricant when their blood is publically shed.

Peace, order, and rulership is wretched business, ultimately. I pray that I serve my task well enough and long enough to ensure you are all spared of this misery.

-Jaus Avandaer

33-3

—[Draus]—

Unbeknownst to Naeko and Chambers, a shard of glass hovered a few hundred kilometers away from where they were talking. Through the glass were a series of guns, expanded from the Arsenalist. Its spinal cannon had a Redaction Round primed, and Draus had her metaphorical finger on the trigger in case something went sideways during Chambers little talk.

It wasn’t that she expected things to. Didn’t have high odds of working outright against the Chief Paladin either. With Chambers, though, one couldn’t be too careful, and weird degenerate aside, he was in her cadre and Naeko wasn’t; if Naeko tried to do anything with Chambers, then she was going to try to snuff him, simple as that. Didn’t matter if it was a long-shot or near suicide.

Jelene Draus didn’t know any other way to be, and more importantly, she had a duty to those who were left while Avo was still missing in action.

Things seemed to be going well for now, though. The two were even talking. Getting along plenty as Chambers started weaving Paladins into shape right next to Naeko, extracting them from where they were on Idheim. Half-strand learned more than a few new tricks — and them were some pretty nasty tricks at that.

He might not have been the finest soldier she served with, or even a good one, but he was willing to try things. His mind twisted in weird ways, with his willingness to inflict the rash on his enemies and himself. Now, though? Now, Draus couldn’t help feeling a little empty around him. He’d come a far way from being the vic-addict that he was. Was a real force with that Heaven of Love. Shit, without him, she’d definitely be snuffed against Uthred and her Pathborn. Cas and the thoughtcaster were all over his ass too. All of them seemed happy to be around each other; spent time jawin’ off to each other like they were consangs.

Real consangs. Real people, together.

And Draus was fine with that. If was good for them, it was good. That didn’t bother her none. What did bother her was bein’ useless. Being a gun that couldn’t kill, or a weapon that didn’t get the job done. Chambers was taking up her portion of the bargain too—the combat effectiveness part. And with Naeko in the picture?

She was a damn good Regular. She knew that. Wasn’t half bad of a ‘Clad. But next to them, she really couldn’t tell why she had a shard of the Stillborn ingrained inside of her.

+Such is the greatest folly of inserting alienation into a human mind,+ the Famine of Mercy whispered. He materialized next to her shard in the void, watching as a bond slowly solidified between Chambers and Naeko. +When the entirety of your purpose is focused in a single facet of being, being shattered of self-worth is ever so easy.+

Draus sent the Famine a glare. +Do you hear me whimperin’, half-strand?+

+No. Nor do I accuse you of such weakness. Highflame designed your like to be robust within and without, if nothing else. Yet, your malaise is understandable.+

+Yeah, I’m not doin’ this with you,+ Draus replied. And she wasn’t. She hadn’t forgotten what she was dealing with—what she had inside her. She was carrying a portion of Noloth inside herself. Bunch of traitors that now saw her as Avo’s “knight” or some shit. It was all godsdamned ridiculous.

+Indeed,+ Mercy continued. +You do not trust me. Nor am I capable of giving you a proper direction. As such, I will leave this task to someone better.+

“Guard-Captain Draus?”

She switched. Her arm was halfway expanded into a launcher before she caught herself. The bulk of her attention receded back into her body, into the Manta nested at the central atrium of the planetary ring. The Voidwatch stealth ship fabricated life support facilities, circulated oxygen, created temp-fab housing and more for the refugees Avo felt here since its establishment. As such, it became the ring’s official nerve-center as well—the place where everything could be monitored, everything could be managed.

It was also where Naeko decided to place Jaus for now. Right next to Draus, with a strong suggestion that she should watch him with his life. Not like the Chief Paladin needed to tell her.

Fuck. There was another bit of weirdness. Jaus Avandaer… a node of him returned. Harvested from inside the root data of the former Heaven of Love and recreated by Avo. Another absurd feat in a long string of absurd feats the rotlick achieved. Now, the resurrected mind-clone of the savior looked upon her, resting on layers of protections. Worse, he spent a lot of the time just observing her and talking to Vator after he sent Chambers on his “quest.”

The man was clearly planning something, moving pieces together in that mind of his. He was a bit like Avo in a sense that she couldn’t quite tell what he was thinking, just that there was something impossibly complex happening behind the wards guarding his Metamind. There was a time when Draus would have honored to guard the Savior of Idheim and the Architect of the Godsfall. Now, though? Now, she kind of wanted him to go away, because didn’t really know how to deal with his attention.

Well. I guess I could just shoot him. The thought came to Draus casually, and it made her frown. This was probably part of her fucking problem. She tried solving everything by shooting it. In her defense, it worked for decades before she met Avo. TThe times it didn’t work, she simply hadn’t had enough firepower. Right now, though, shooting Jaus Avandaer might make her less anxious, but it would also force her into the death match of a lifetime against a Ninth Sphere Samir Naeko.

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“Guard-Captain? Are you well?” Jaus repeated, cocking his head to observe her reactions. Between them, Vator leaned in as well, grinning like a perverted vouyer as his eyes swung between Jaus and Druas.

“Her inner humors are in a state of discomfort,” the Portrait declared. The damn scroll was plastered over the smart-matter ceiling above them. Fucking Sang god refused to go away for good, and Vator practically had it out of his body all the time now. “An understandable response when spoken to by the Unmaker.”

And if there was anything that could provoke a less than controlled expression from Jaus, it was the Portrait. Any of their gods, really. The man didn’t say anything, but it was clear he was less than comfortable about Avo’s choice to reawaken the dormant gods slumbering within the Heavens. Still, he kept to the course, staring at Draus until she finally turned to face him.

That was a thing with him. He didn’t believe a conversation was truly started until you were doing things face to face.

“Sorry,” Draus grunted, shifting in her modified Manta gimbal. The spherical seating pod spun, allowing Draus to finally face the savior. “Wasn’t ignorin’ you or nothin’.”

“It’s fine if you were,” Jaus said, offering an amused smile. “I would not be offended. I am scarcely the most important thing here.”

She didn’t know how to respond to that.

“How are they, by the way?” Jaus pressed on.

“What?” Draus asked.

“Samir and Aedon. Are they getting along. You are monitoring them, are you not?”

Draus’ hand twitched again. Her reflex of shooting things she didn’t know how to deal with otherwise was getting hard to suppress. “How’d you know I was watching them?”

Jaus pulled up a smart-matter holoscreen from his seat. There, it displayed the Manta’s external sensors—and the simulation of the near void all those telemetries constructed. There, he pointed to a single anomalous object in the vast nothing: a single shard of glass. “ I could be mistaken, but there is a great deal of coincidence for a reflective piece of glass to be holding a constant movement pattern atop Axtraxis Academy. Especially without a means of controlled propulsion. Especially with a Godclad of Reflections nearby.”

“That, and I might have mentioned your Domains,” Vator said, grinning brightly. “If that helped, I do apologize, Guard-Captain.”

The former Regular just stared at Jaus.

“I was a Godclad too, you know,” Jaus chuckled. “And I could tell that you worry about your friend. Just like I worry for Samir.”

She made a vague set of noises. If they were affirmation or just awkwardness, she couldn’t tell. And neither could Jaus for that matter, judging from the look on his face. “Was just tryin’ to make sure there’s nothing out there. Can’t be too careful no more these days. ‘Especially with the snakes coming in soon.”

“Snakes?”

“The emissaries. The best asslickers the Colors could gather on short notice.” The words left Draus lips before she realized how coarse she sounded. Shit. Fuck. Been a while since she had to deal with a professional-situation. Jaus was known for being a diplomat—hells, he was the best godsdamned warrior-philosopher there ever was.

“Indeed,” Jaus said, nodding along without any offense. “I suspect we will be greeting them shortly, judging by their current pace of arrival.”

“We’ll be meeting them when we’re ready,” Draus said, snorting in response. “If Naeko says he ain’t ready, or if you’re not feelin’ up to it, or if I decide that I want to strip-clean every gun that I—and my Heaven—have, they’re going to wait. On their ships. This ain’t their show anymore. Reckon they should get that buried deep in their heads before we do any of this bullshit.”

The corner of Jaus’ lips curved slightly. He slapped his palms against his lab twice and made to stand. “I’d like to go on a walk.”

Once again, Draus was thrown off her train of thought. “What? The fuck do you want to go here—I mean, where you want to go, Highest Avandaer.”

“Jaus is fine,” Jaus said. “Honorifics are indignities better inflicted on the obsequious and adversarial. And I would like to have a look at our current facilities. Perhaps greet the local population and ready myself to greet our guests before they arrive. I think I’ve lingered here long enough.”

“I—” Well, Draus couldn’t just say no to the fucking Savior. But—with the refugees— “People here are mostly Enclavers. Don’t really know much about the world. Doubt they know you that well, uh, Jaus.”

His smile only grew wider. “This sounds more appealing to me by the second. I prefer to walk incognito. Would you like to join me? The both of you?”

“Tell him no,” the Portrait murmured to Vator. “He has taken enough. Be away, Breaker, Ruiner. Be away. Be but an illusion.”

Once more, Jaus ignored the god. There was a point to the way he pretended they didn’t exist—something that went further than denial. Jaus Avandaer wasn’t the type to do something out of childish spite. Every word he spoke so far had a purpose, so there was purpose with this. Perhaps he was trying to engineer something with Vator as well.

The young Greatling winced. “Portrait, please. It is hardly appropriate to hold on to such old grudges.”

“Old grudges?” the Heaven of Biology sounded incensed. “My meaning was destroyed. My charges were taken. I was sundered and rebuilt because of his deception, his acts! There is… there is… there is so little of me left. You shattered us, Godbreaker. You shattered us, and now you treat me as if I am not even true. Is there no end to your heresy?”

Jaus’ gaze took on a cold and calculated quality. “Vator. It is important to understand one thing: Humans and minds choose. Humans and minds believe. But that which they imagine, the phantasmagoria that spawn from their minds and are granted the power of lore? That is merely constrained by story. It is always better to be the author—or the artist.”

The right words again. Vator bit his lip, and for the first time in a while, the Portrait receded slightly, drawing closer to his flesh. The scroll of sinew and tissue shivered with outrage, and Vator bore an uncharacteristic look of strain.

“Now. Do you share any of these objections, Jelene?”

Draus listened to her Heavens, but where the Simulacrae was merely happy to capture Naeko and Chambers with its reflection, the Arsenalist was even less interested in proceedings—losing interest in the Godbreaker entirely when Draus designed him as a non-target entity.

Seemed like gods were as multifaceted as they ones that used them. Or maybe that might be Draus’ influence as well. The Arsenalist and Simulacrae were both remodified by Avo to suit her. She didn’t give a shit about the Godsfall—nor did they.

“No,” Draus grunted. She unlatched her gimbal with a mental command. “But I ain’t lettin’ you wander around alone.”

“A very interesting way of accepting my invitation to a walk. I would not be offended if you would rather stay—”

“How would Naeko feel about that? ‘Bout me just lettin’ you wander this place, at this time, unmonitored? After what happened to your true self.”

Jaus considered that for a moment. “We are under the protections of his mist.”

“It’s a hell of a layer; still only one. And if he fails, that’s on him. If I fail, I get the palm.”

“Come now, Naeko would—” Jaus’ went quite as his brows furrowed. “Well. He would logically understand that some circumstances cannot be prevented.”

“Sure. He’ll get there. After he emotionally pulls me apart. Just because I don’t got no fear of death don’t mean I’ll enjoy getting smeared.” Draus shook her head. “What are you actually tryin’ to pull here, Highest Avandaer? What actually? Don’t mean nothin’, but I want to know. You don’t strike me as the blind tourist kind.”

He stared at her for a long moment. “I don’t know you very well yet, Citizen Draus. I would like to. I would like to understand why I get the feeling that you are lost. And I would like for you to explain to me why Avo, decided to place all these Enclavers in this place—and to learn more about him from you. And understand who you are through your words and habits. Naeko said you were suspected to be the closest to the Dreamer—and were well-regarded by my daughter as well. I wish to learn how a Regular found herself in a league with the mind-spawn of Defiance.”

Draus really didn’t know how she felt about that. She didn’t much know how she felt about a lot of things anymore. But in the absence of being able to shoot at the problem, it was time to do something very uncomfortable. An opening formed on the side of the Manta, exposing the haemokinetic-gun metal gray mesh interior of the ring. “Right. Let’s get to know each other, then.”